Questioning Our Perfectionism

Perfectionism is a striving for a flawless standard, set by ourselves and often based off perceived societal standards, comparing to the behaviours of others... If we consider our self identity like a pie chart. If we place a lot of value on certain areas, should something happen to this it shakes our identity. If we place a lot on perfectionism, we set ourselves to an often unobtainable high standard, therefore if we are unable to reach this it heavily impacts on our identity and how we view ourselves. We may have thoughts of ‘I am a failure’, ‘I am useless’…

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What questions can we ask ourselves?

What does ‘perfect’ look and feel like?

Where does this idea of perfect come from?

Who sets the benchmark?

Do we compare to others? – is it from social media? – is it from comments from others?

How does this idea of ‘perfect’ impact upon our daily lives and wellbeing?

What is our fear if things aren’t perfect?

Do we fear that we will be a failure or unsuccessful?

Do we fear a loss of control?

If related to control, what things can we/ can’t we control?

How much value do we place on this as part of our identity?

What can we replace this with e.g., activities, family time…?

Think more about the other value (e.g., enjoyment, memories…), rather than is this perfect?

What would it feel like to purposely do something imperfectly?